So there I am in this seedy bar about halfway to Cauldron, got about a month to get there so no hurry. Since time wasn’t of the essence i decided to check out if there were any little side jobs that could be picked up along the way. The first one looked fairly interesting, escort some dignitary to Cauldron, talk about convenient, get paid to go where I’m going anyway. So I asked the bartender who I should talk to. He points out this hoitie toitie foreigner squeaking some weird music out on a flute on stage. So I patiently wait by the side of the stage for her to finish her set, gritting my teeth at every false note. She finally finishes her caterwauling and comes over to speak to me. You know what this ditzy chick is offering to pay???!!! Nothing!!! that’s right she not paying a thing just a share, a bloody share of any treasure taken off bandits and the such!! Well I said to the gods with that and went back to the bartender to check out the only other job one the board. Some “adventure” in some one horse town about halfway to Cauldron. By now I’m think to the gods with THIS one horse town. Figuring what the gods i head back to the wannabee flutist,who has by now gathered a couple suckers to her cause, two of those shady elves and a bloody half elf monk of all things. I tell her that I’m willing to join their little troupe and she is so grateful she offers me a place of prominence on her wagon, i decline of coarse, way to easy to get shot up there, and tell her gracefully that i would be more comfortable on the tailgate, easier to cut and run if the trip turns into horse piss in the wind.
I will say one thing about elves, pretty good traveling companions, never say much and move pretty quiet. Now half elves on the other hand OH MY GODS..!!!! Natter natter natter, like if it was quiet for a minute without mentioning the good graces of her god the sky might fall. Reminded me of the old priest back home, you know the type, wouldn’t even give you a crust of bread without preaching some sermon about the evils of the world. Next time anyway I’m going to insist on one of those silent monk types, though I’m sure if it’s a half elf it’ll still find a way to annoy me.
After a couple of days of this I’m beginning to wonder if a free ride is really worth it, and boom we stumble on something interesting. Seems a couple elves are having a disagreement with the local goblins. Being the heroic type I am, I sprint towards the fray straight through the trees, said heroic not stupid. I get there just in time to see the elf dispatch one goblin and the last one seeing me appear from seemingly nothing cuts tail and runs. Then in true elvish fanaticism the less civilized elf in our party shoots him in the back, AND still lets it get away!! We graciously help out the last elf and his halfling master, seriously who does that, who works for a furry footed halfling. Elves being so over boned sensitive, here I am trying to help with his dead companion and what does he do? He pulls his gods loving bow on me and accuses me of stealing! If I was going to steal from anyone it wouldn’t be two elves that had to lower themselves to working for a Halfling, like really what could they have had, a gold and maybe four coppers.
So we take this Halfling back to town and turns out she owns the local store and will reward us a hundred gold each, for what I’m not sure but I ain’t arguing. I’m just thinking this trip might be worth it after all when she drops the words “store credit”. Store Credit!!! Seriously who does that, like I’m ever going to come back to this dirt water town. So any way went into their little store and found out they had a stable too, bought the best flea-bitten nag they had and tack for it, sure I over paid but STORE CREDIT really!
Turns out this is the town with the adventure, kill the goblins that have been plaguing the town. So me and my companions decide why not could be fun. We follow the wild looking elf into the woods, turns out he has some not bad tracking skills. Not bad from a point of view that is, he manages to track us right into an ambush. Gods save me from these elves, any god please… Turns out it’s some sort of goblin shaman and his pet wolf, he throws a couple spells we fight out of the woods, me I’m keeping an eye out around us cause obviously can’t trust these woody elves. And once again the goblin decides to run. Run is that all goblins know how to do? Makes me wonder about those fools in town that can’t handle them, like how pathetic can you be? Mister crazy elf manages to kill this elf while it’s tucking tail and we get some not bad loot for very little work. Oh forgot to mention the other elf manages to stab herself with a tree or something, clutz, so back to town we go. Will try and find the goblins den after our frail party members heal up. This could end up taking up all my spare time after all……….